How I started building my testimony

When I went on temple grounds when I was 4-years-old, that was when I knew that the LDS church was true. I felt the Spirit the strongest on temple grounds. I think this was the first time I felt the Spirit actually. The Spirit assured me that this was a true church. I also felt the importance of the temple even though I did not know what went on in there. Now that I think about it, I think the Spirit was trying to let me know that receiving all of the ordinances in there is my ultimate goal. I can't deny what I felt and learned that day.

Goofing around at Hezekiah's Tunnel

Some of the Jerusalem Center students fooling around after walking through Hezekiah's tunnel. 

This is definitely something to do while in Jerusalem. If you want to beat the heat, go through this tunnel. It's sick to think that the ancient people of Israel carved out such a long passage. It takes like 30 minutes to get through the tunnel. 

Me and a couple others went through Hezekiah's tunnel a second time without flashlights. Instead, we used oil lamps, just like in the 10 virgins parable. We tried to be like the wise virgins, so we bought a ton of olive oil. However, the parable failed to mention bringing more than one candle wick. All of our wicks died out half way through our journey through the tunnel, so we were walking in the pitch black. We all ended up being the foolish virgins.

"The Hardest Part" by Coldplay

I feel like this is my theme song before leaving on a mission. Here's the lyrics:

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing
Was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
Bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining the cloud
Oh and I
I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing
But I couldn’t think of anything
And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
You're a silver lining the clouds
Oh and I
Oh and I
I wonder what it’s all about
I wonder what it’s all about

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do, it's just comes undone
And everything is torn apart

Oh and it’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part
Yeah that’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part


It sounds like I really don't want to go on a mission, but I really do. I'm just saying that it's not going to be easy letting go of everything once I'm set apart as a full-time missionary. Waiting to be set apart does feel like the "strangest start." The mission is definitely going to be a "bittersweet" experience. There's still a lot of things "I wish that I could work out" before I leave.

I feel like I am leaving at an interesting point in my life. I really feel like anything can happen in these next 18 months to the people that I care about. I never felt this way during my 3 years in college. That's why it's "the hardest part letting go, not taking part." I feel like I'm going to be in the blind with pretty much everything, except for what will be right in front of me. I wonder what it's all about: Why am I leaving on a mission at this point in my life? I'm sure I'll understand the reason why once I complete my mission.

I Hated Travelling

Recognize how the title is past tense. For some odd reason, I hated travelling when I was a little kid. When I went to the Philippines, I cried. When I went to California, I cried. When I went to Las Vegas, I cried. When I went to Mexico, at least I think we went to Mexico, I probably cried. Now I cry if I don't get to travel. It's weird.

Disclaimer: I am not going on a mission just so I can travel. That's probably the last reason why I am going on a mission. I could have gotten called state-side and I would have been totally fine with it. I have to admit though, I don't mind going on a mission to a place with gorgeous beaches and sceneries with super awesome people.

The Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, Turkey

Seriously one of the greatest places on earth. The architecture is impeccable. The size is immense. The history is rich with religious fervor and conflict. This place went from a Christian church to a Muslim mosque, to a museum. This place definitely lives up to its name Hagia Sophia, meaning "Holy Wisdom."

The Byzantine empire built this building around 300 AD. It wasn't until like 500 AD that they got the current structure. When the Ottomans took over Constantinople, now Istanbul, they converted this building into a mosque. They covered all of the Christian symbols and personages (thank goodness or else we wouldn't have these original pictures todays). They then put up their signatures of the Imams (at least that's what they are called by the Sunni Muslims). That's why you see the signatures and virgin Mary and baby Jesus in the the second picture. Seriously, what other religious building contain both Christ and the Imams? It's amazing how both religions truly revered this building. Kind of reminds me of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

Also, the picture at the bottom with Jesus in the middle is the first depiction of the Jesus that we all imagine. Every other artist painted/drew/sculpted Jesus to look like this painting (or at least His features). This was such a cool sight.

If you had to go to Europe, go to Turkey. Turkey is one of the most amazing countries' anyone can ever go to. This is something that should be on everybody's bucket list. I definitely want to go back again.

Living in Fear

When I say I'm the complete opposite person of who I was when I was a child, I'm not exaggerating. I have grown so much in 21 years. I can't fathom how much more I am going to grow the rest of my 79 years of my life.

I feel like the biggest change in me was going from "living in fear" to "living on the edge." I really regret that I let myself live in fear. I held myself back from doing so much. I feel like the reason why I'm not as talented as I could have been is because of fear. Seriously, I was afraid of everything. I was afraid of failure. I was afraid of change. I was afraid of new situations. I was afraid of meeting new people. I was a little girl in a big world. I couldn't handle the world. Actually, I'm still a little girl in a big world, but I'm not letting this world get to me. I'm not letting this world scare me. Nope. Not at all (at least I'm telling myself).

Now I feel like I'm invincible. I'm up for anything (as long as it's keeping within the Lord's commandments). My family feels like I am too ambitious, wreck-less, and irresponsible. Maybe I am, but it beats living in fear and living like a vegetable.

Chinese!

Not until this past week have I been studying and exposing myself to Chinese. I've been slacking with my Chinese since I got back. I would casually study Chinese here and there. I'm trying to get a lot more serious with preparing for a mission. It's hard preparing for a mission when you're in Hawaii. I just want to play all day long instead of studying. I guess that's a good thing that BYU Hawaii didn't accept me, but BYU Provo accepted me.

I feel like the thing that I need to improve the most is listening comprehension. I feel like Chinese people talk as fast as cheetahs. I pick up words I know here and there, but overall I cannot understand the full meaning of a sentence. That's why I started watching this Taiwanese drama on Hulu. In English it's called "In Time With You." A couple of people suggested that I watch this drama. It's pretty good. I like the dialogue, but I feel like the situations are cliche. I'm only on episode 5 so my opinion might change. This show has definitely been helping me get used to Chinese speech. It's Chinese that you would speak on the streets, so I feel like I have been learning phrases and vocabulary that I never learned in Chinese class that I feel will be useful. The problem is that this is Taiwanese Chinese I'm getting used to. I'm pretty sure a ton of my investigators are going to be from mainland China. I am afraid they are going to think I am talking gibberish. Even my teachers will probably have served in Taiwan, so they'll be teaching us Taiwanese Chinese. I'm sure even though I'll be speaking Taiwanese Chinese, the PRC peeps will be impressed that a Filipino girl can be speaking some sort of Chinese.

I've been reading through the missionary vocabulary book for Mandarin Chinese. To tell you the truth, I have been struggling going through it. I started from the beginning on the first discussion. There would be grammar structures that I would struggle getting a grasp on. I would think, "What the heck? I have never learned this in my Chinese classes!" Ok this is bad! I am starting to sound like those return missionaries who think they should be understanding everything since they lived in Taiwan, but they aren't so they get all mad about it. I just need to find that balance with my Chinese knowledge. I shouldn't be over-confident if those first couple days are easy for me in the MTC, yet I shouldn't be discouraged if they aren't. I just got to learn how to be confident in the Lord guiding me, but with a humble heart.

I started reading a friend's blog from the Jerusalem Center who is now in the MTC. She is going to the Taiwan Taipei mission and she is leaving for the field pretty soon. I want to say she's leaving the beginning of June. I feel like it has been good for me reading how she feels being in the MTC and learning Chinese. It's rather entertaining the experiences she has been having. I feel like I have a better feel about what I am going to expect going into the MTC, especially being a Chinese speaker. I can't believe how long they are going to be teaching us in the classroom. I'm sure I am going to be going crazy a couple times here and there. I turn into a little baby when I get impatient and irritated. I know that being in the classroom for the whole day will transform me into a little brat. My district and teachers and companions are going to get a kick out of me acting like a 5-year-old. It was interesting when she wrote about that they ask two random missionaries every sacrament meeting to go up and give a talk in Chinese. I'll probably be freaking out ever Sunday because they'll be doing that. However, I have had pretty good instincts on knowing when the bishopric is going to ask me to give a talk. Hopefully this gift doesn't fail me while I'm on my mission.

I also saw a picture of her and a number of other sister missionaries that will be going to the Taiwan Taipei mission. I was surprised to know a couple of the sister missionaries in that picture. There was even one girl I had no idea she was going on her mission. I had to go on Facebook to make sure that the girl I saw in the picture was the girl that I was thinking of. It turned out to be her. Her younger sister ended up going to the Taiwan Taichung mission. I feel like out of all of the missions, I know the most people going to the Taiwan Taipei mission. I sometimes wish that I was going to the Taipei, Taiwan mission just so I can be companions with my friends. The girls that I know that will be going to Taipei are some of the neatest girls I have met. I would have loved to have been mission companions with them. I'm sure I'm more suited for the Australia Brisbane mission.